Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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