he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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