You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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