We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
