I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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