I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
