remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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