WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Randomize
