come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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