I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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