I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
