I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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