Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm at about main and main street
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
