Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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