I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
