he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
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