from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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