boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
