just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
