yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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