Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize