I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Randomize
