His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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