ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
