whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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