after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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