her vagina looked like bernie madoff
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
