I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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