shes about as inviting as chlamydia
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
