Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
