He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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