well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
