Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
