If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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