1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
