..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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