im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
