that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
