just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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