you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
