So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize
