exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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