I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
