i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
