so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
