We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
