If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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