Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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