I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
