woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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