I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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