Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
