I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
