turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
