it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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