she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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