All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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