Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I smell like Dick and happiness
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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