I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
she peed on how many people?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
