All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
