You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
